Who Cares?

Other people don't know
What I feel for you inside
They can't even try to fathom
The burning cessation in my heart.

Who cares about them?
They are neither you nor me
What matters most is us
What matters most is us!

She can't possibly feel
The way I feel for you
She can't give you
What I can give you

I'd give you the world
If you let me
I'd give you my heart
If you'd only accept it.

Who cares about the other guys?
Younger or older
I certainly don't
When I have you beside me

Other guys can't make me smile
The way you do
They can't make my heart beat
Faster and slower at the same time

Who cares about what other people think
When all I care about is you?
Who cares about what I feel?

...certainly, it's not you...

Impossibility

This is it...
I've fallen into something
I couldn't get myself out of.

There's no looking back
I'd be lying to myself
If I say, I'd never like you.

I might just be stuck in a coma
And dreaming this whole thing up
But my heart can't lie, I've fallen for you.

Here I go again
With unrequited love
Why do I keep punishing myself?

Falling for someone who can't be for me
Forcing something to happen
When it's an impossibility.

At night, my eyes burn
With tears of longing  to be in your arms
At night, I close my eyes and dream

Dream about the impossibility
That I could ever be for you
I hurt knowing the truth.

You push me away
Yet I keep hurting myself
Trying to hold on to the sharp end of the knife.

My demented heart, it beats for you
But you just let me be
Ignoring the fact that there could be

...a possibility...

Going Crazy In Love

What can I do?
I've fallen for someone
Who couldn't possibly be for me.
He's there; I'm here so we can't be as one.

We're of different worlds
With different minds
And of different hearts.

But I can't help but fall
For his charms (at times)
For his smile
For his unexpected hugs and kisses

There's something about him
I couldn't quite grasp
I don't know anything about him
But I just couldn't keep my hands off him.

I get jealous when he looks at others
I get jealous when he talks about other girls
I get jealous when he wears that shirt

I don't know a single thing that runs in his brain
Yet I can't help it; I've fallen for someone
Who can't possibly be for me

...Simply because he doesn't want  me to be his...

Who Am I?

With so many things going on in each of our lives, it's easy to lose yourself in this crazy world we live in. I have seem to be wandering around aimlessly in this journey called "life".

Who am I? I am a woman.. a teacher.. a daughter.. a sister.. a friend.. a dreamer.

What does it all mean? Honestly, I have no idea. I'm able to call myself a lot of things, but I still don't know who I truly am and I still don't know which path to take as I come across crossroads in life.

A friend told me recently that I should think about "What is there FOR me?" as opposed to "What is it I WANT?" So, I asked her, should I leave it to fate? She answered:

"No, leave it to faith."

Faith could be a lot of things. Spiritual faith helps us gain perspective in this world full of inexplicable matters and events. Faith could also be our self-confidence, our faith in ourselves. If you believe good things will happen to you, then it will.

I wish I could listen to myself, but it's just so darn hard with everything going on. I feel the need to get away and search for myself but certain circumstances won't allow it to happen. I feel like I've strayed toward a quicksand of depression and got sucked in, half in the deep and half still seeing light.

I want to share a short poem that I personally wrote which can probably sum up the way I feel. I wrote this in my quiet office as my emotions controlled the words that my pen furiously wrote on a piece of scrap paper (this will be the VERY first time I publish one of my many poems for the public eye to see, so any comments or critiques would be deeply appreciated)


Darkness

Wandering these dark alleys
In the streets of life
I have found no one
Who could ease my strife

Lost and alone in the darkness
I have come to miss the light
Darkness envelopes me
As I fight to search for light

I'm blind in the dark
No smiles nor glee
I've forgotten happiness
But I long to see

I know there is light
Beyond the darkness, I see
A way out to the other side
In hopes of completion, I seek..

..I dream, I search, I wander..
...I wish, I hope, I could, I WILL!

-dreamer01-21-2010-