Stress Much?

How do you guys deal with stress?

I'm stressing out about a lot of things in my life--work life and personal life combined. See, the thing is, one aspect interferes with the other (and vice versa). It's a vicious cycle that never seems to end.

My friends tell me that to get rid of stress, you have to get rid of the root cause of it. Hmm... in my case, it's hard to pinpoint exactly which is the root--work or personal life?

Stress from work is normal and I think I can handle that more than the stress in my personal life (which includes family, love (or the lack of it), friends, etc.. etc..) With work, I deal with stress by laughing at things. If I make a mistake or if there's a student who gives me a headache with all his/her never ending questions, I just smile and explain again...and again...and again....

As for the personal life... everything is in shambles... I'm confused, I'm troubled, my mind is spinning in a vortex of worries, high hopes and shattered dreams... I need to try to make it stop. I find absolutely no laughter in my personal life. I need to find myself, but outside forces pull me back thinking that i'm more "sheltered" if they don't let go of me. I'm gonna go berserk! I want to saw off that short leash they tied around my life!

If I were a bird, my wings would either be clipped by now or stunted its growth to a full wing span.

So, I ask you again, how do you deal with stress?

When the frown turns upside down...

I'm happy to share that I am feeling much better now. I still think about him, but that's normal..part of the process..a stage..

He, meanwhile, has completely vanished into thin air from my life... What can I do? Nothing, of course. I am not one to mess with fate--if it's not meant to be, then so be it.

I have found healing in the most unusual place: work and kids.

As an ESL teacher, it's not hard to be amused by young innocent kids who usually make mistakes using their newly acquired English words.  Take for example my 12-year-old boy student who recently learned the words: garage, hangar, and depot, to name a few.

Last week, the students had their vocabulary test wherein they had to use their words in grammatically correct sentences. When the test papers were returned to us, the teachers, I couldn't help but giggle when I saw what my student wrote:

"My mother HANGAR my t-shirt." 

Good job, my student... good job for making me laugh lifting my downtrodden spirit. ^_^


Also, my 10-year-old girls surprisingly became really close to me. Playfully joking around with me, playing catch with me, telling me stories and even hugging me after the day is over!

Curiouser and curiouser....

Life seriously never fails to mystify me...

When On A Roller Coaster Ride of Life....

Life has a funny way of toying with us. Do you think that we control our lives? Or our lives control us? I have no idea, actually. What I do know is this: Life can sometimes be bittersweet...

I've been teaching English to Koreans again after my very short stint as a writer.  I always remember the old adage, "When life throws lemons at you, make yourself a lemonade".

How true! This current job of mine is a serious lemon in my life, however, my students--especially the funny and kind ones--make me glasses of lemonade each day.  One of my students cannot pronounce "bored" correctly.  One day, he complained to me.. "Teacher! I'm BOH-RED!" ^_^This 18-year old young man has a playful mind of a 6-year old (same energy, too!)

One of my younger students always tell me make-believe stories during class time. One day, he told me a story about him climbing up Mt. Everest in 2 seconds! Faster than Superman, who did it in 4 seconds, who, by the way, is also his older brother! His younger brother is Iron Man! ^_^ He's a cute, chubby 12-year old who calls me a "witch" or "skeleton" as a joke and I call him a " silly jester" (two of his new vocab words for this week) ^_^

Little things like these can put a smile on my face. As long as the students are pleasant.

In another part of my life.... I've been "seeing" this guy for more than a month now.  He's really nice and we've been friends since we were 13 years old. He was even my prom date when we were 16.  Years passed and we both went separate ways after high school.  After 11 years, we're back to hanging out with each other again--coffee, dinner, ice cream, or simply just talking about the ups and downs of life. The ultimate lemon, which is also the most sour, in my life: He has a girlfriend!

I know we can't have everything we want in life. I try to be a good girl so good things will happen to me. But try as I might, my ideal setting...my ideal world...my ideal life... will just remain that: IDEAL.

So, here's what I will incoherently ramble on: Dreamers dream... Players play... cycle of life! Ups and downs... bittersweet... lemons = a big pitcher of lemonade!

*sigh* as you can see... everything that's happening to me recently has taken a toll on my coherence. So, I'll end this post here, before i ramble you to boredom. ^_^

remember: "When life throws lemons at you, make yourself a lemonade!" YUM! ^_^

When Panic Attacks!

Just this Friday, I attended my first client meeting with my supervisor and another co-worker.  I felt anxious and I almost had a panic attack.  I'm not used to meeting with BIG named clients since this was my first one EVER! I've dealt with individual clients back in the day when I was a wedding video editor. But BIG named clients? Never!

So this is me before the meeting: internally panicking as I helped prepare the communications plan for public relations articles, eating less than normal during lunch as I had butterflies in my stomach, sweating and drinking too much water that I had to pee right before we left.  We had to take a cab to the location of the meeting and unfortunately for us, the cab's air conditioning broke down not even half way there! So we had to crack the windows open. The temperature outside: 34 degrees Celsius/93.2 Fahrenheit!! It felt like a freakin' sauna in that cab!

Anyway, when we got to the location, we quickly tried to fix our hair, and wipe off the sweat on our foreheads before we met with the client.  The meeting was a breeze and I didn't even have to say anything at all! *whew!*

Now, my personal problem is... I'm becoming overwhelmed with the work because they're trying to give me multiple clients when I am still trying to feel my way through one! Remember: I've NEVER worked in public relations.

My plan: email the direct boss and say exactly how I feel. Risky, but I can still risk it as I am still in probation. Actually, my initial plan was to either fake an illness or go AWOL. Both bad ideas.

See, here's thing: I can sit down in the office and write drafts for articles... I can add ideas to the communication plans... BUT, for some reason, I can't do it for multiple clients! I was even too anxious for the first meeting. I might have social anxiety disorder... I'm not professionally diagnosed, but there's a big possibility that I do have it.  I can sit and work in my little cubicle space in the office without anyone bothering me. I live in my own little writing world when I'm in my office space.

Oh well.. we'll see how it goes...
by the way, *whispers* add Nestle whole grain cereal, like Fitnesse, in your diet to keep you healthy! *wink*