Our Mental Video Camera

This is something I wrote in Oct 27 ‘09.. I've added more to it as I share it with you through this blog...

Time and memory could easily play tricks on our minds. What seems to have happened yesterday in our minds could have had happened 10 years ago in reality. Our memories are strong and powerful, especially the cherished ones. If you really think about it, the events that happened more than 10 years ago are still fresh in your mind. Our most-cherished memories will never fade away.

My mind is filled with memories of 5-10 years ago. Once in a while they pop out of my head and an instant replay is played inside my mind. These are the few times when I suddenly go physically blank as I silently watch the deluge of images play inside my head. Somewhere between five to ten years ago, my mind had mentally captured—like a video camera on auto record—scenes from events and happenings shared with friends and loved ones. Now, my mind seems to be on auto-play as well. I often catch myself watching my mental video camera as it plays scenes from high school dances and events like it happened yesterday. Sometimes, however, it plays scenes from my days in San Francisco. Honestly, my mental video camera often catches me off-guard. I don’t know why, but most of the time, it plays even while I sleep and I watch it through my dreams.

I think one reason our brain auto-records such events is because our brain knows that we want to cherish the good memories for the rest of our lives. Like our very own video camera without having to lug around the extra equipment needed—lights, tripods, mics, etc—our brain automatically captures the highlights of our lives. However, unlike video tapes or dvds, our mental storage box never fades away, never gets scratched and the film never gets stuck to the cartridge. Most importantly, we don’t need a television set or a player to watch it.

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I have actually caught myself staring blankly into space as I watch random memories from the past auto-play in my mind. Most of the time, I am able to select chapters of my life and usually I try replay the good stuff over and over. It's a good thing I cannot scratch it like a mere dvd!

Come to think of it, my mental playback of the past comes with a certain feeling long-forgotten by time. When I have an auto-playback of some parts of my life, I can feel the happiness, the laughter, the pain and the tears again--like reliving them one more time.

It's a good thing that, most of the time at least, my mental video camera plays back the good stuff. That first kiss with that special guy... that date at the restaurant with a really great view of the city... the way I suddenly said "HI!" to my now best girl friend... the times lounging around downtown on a lazy day... getting together with college friends and forgetting we all had financial problems... the hustle and bustle of working in a television station... getting yelled at on the very first hours of production by a director who hugged me tightly on my last day at the set and begged me not to go... graduation... first day at "real" work (ie: 9am to 5pm)... all the good stuff... just the good stuff.

This is our very special Mental Video Camera. Unique, different to each person. Special. Something we should all cherish and be careful not to delete anything! Each memory (good or bad) is something special in our lives... a lesson, perhaps? or simply a reminder of who we really are.