Who Cares?

Other people don't know
What I feel for you inside
They can't even try to fathom
The burning cessation in my heart.

Who cares about them?
They are neither you nor me
What matters most is us
What matters most is us!

She can't possibly feel
The way I feel for you
She can't give you
What I can give you

I'd give you the world
If you let me
I'd give you my heart
If you'd only accept it.

Who cares about the other guys?
Younger or older
I certainly don't
When I have you beside me

Other guys can't make me smile
The way you do
They can't make my heart beat
Faster and slower at the same time

Who cares about what other people think
When all I care about is you?
Who cares about what I feel?

...certainly, it's not you...

Impossibility

This is it...
I've fallen into something
I couldn't get myself out of.

There's no looking back
I'd be lying to myself
If I say, I'd never like you.

I might just be stuck in a coma
And dreaming this whole thing up
But my heart can't lie, I've fallen for you.

Here I go again
With unrequited love
Why do I keep punishing myself?

Falling for someone who can't be for me
Forcing something to happen
When it's an impossibility.

At night, my eyes burn
With tears of longing  to be in your arms
At night, I close my eyes and dream

Dream about the impossibility
That I could ever be for you
I hurt knowing the truth.

You push me away
Yet I keep hurting myself
Trying to hold on to the sharp end of the knife.

My demented heart, it beats for you
But you just let me be
Ignoring the fact that there could be

...a possibility...

What Is Love?

Earlier today while sitting idly at a Thai restaurant with friends and family waiting for our food to come to our table, my eyes happen to set upon an elderly couple. To some people, they may just be some random couple. But my eyes, glazed with unrequited love, saw something else.

The elderly couple was tenderly holding each others hands as the man, with the feeble steps of age, led the strikingly charming woman towards the glass doors of the restaurant. They smiled at each other when the man couldn't open the door and the waitress had to open it for them. Their eyes sparkle when they meet each other's gaze and the man softly puts his wife's small hand into both of his as they slowly walk hand in hand into the restaurant.

That, to me, is true love. Love tested by age, experiences, trials and tribulations. Love which, no matter how long they've been together, flames never die.

I tweeted about this, too. About how nothing makes my heart happier than seeing an old couple doing the smallest thing like holding hands but with a lot of love in their hearts that reflect in both their eyes.


I wish upon wish and I hope upon hope that someday, I find someone who will be with me for the rest of my life, through ups and downs, through smiles and frowns.  I want to find that special someone who will count every wrinkle and every gray hair with me and still would be able to tell me, "you're the most beautiful and special woman I've ever met".

Forgive me for being a sap, a hopeless romantic.... but right now, my eyes are glazed over with unrequited love because stupid cupid couldn't hit him with his arrow.

Going Crazy In Love

What can I do?
I've fallen for someone
Who couldn't possibly be for me.
He's there; I'm here so we can't be as one.

We're of different worlds
With different minds
And of different hearts.

But I can't help but fall
For his charms (at times)
For his smile
For his unexpected hugs and kisses

There's something about him
I couldn't quite grasp
I don't know anything about him
But I just couldn't keep my hands off him.

I get jealous when he looks at others
I get jealous when he talks about other girls
I get jealous when he wears that shirt

I don't know a single thing that runs in his brain
Yet I can't help it; I've fallen for someone
Who can't possibly be for me

...Simply because he doesn't want  me to be his...

If I Could..... I Would...

Found this writing prompt on one of the "learn English" sites I stumbled upon while trying to look for activities for my students.. So, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Try it, you might just be surprised at what comes up on your list!

1. If I could afford to rent my own apartment already, I would have a freakin' party every night.

2. If I could afford to buy my own car, I would go out and finally attend friends' birthday parties and get-togethers and reunions and stuff like that...

3. If I could go to Italy, I'd PROBABLY marry an Italian man.

4. If I could have my own way, I'd be happy.

5. If I could fly, I'd go to Italy to see the sights

6. If I could get my dream job, I'd be a video (or even better--film) editor.

7. If I could turn back time, I'd go back a few years ago when I WAS a video editor.

8.  If I could go out at nights (presently), I'd probably still have my PR writing job til now.

9. If I could tell someone how I feel, I'd hurt his feelings.

10.  If I could just get out now, I'd scream cos this someone is annoying me now through text while I'm writing this post! grr..

**In summary: If I could just get my own way, I'd finally feel independent, I'd have my own place (and car, hopefully), and I'd be able to be with my friends!.

BUT life is unfair... life let me taste a little freedom for four long years while I was at the university far far away from home, but now that I'm back home, the umbilical cord seemed to magically tie itself back again.

CURSES!

Stress Much?

How do you guys deal with stress?

I'm stressing out about a lot of things in my life--work life and personal life combined. See, the thing is, one aspect interferes with the other (and vice versa). It's a vicious cycle that never seems to end.

My friends tell me that to get rid of stress, you have to get rid of the root cause of it. Hmm... in my case, it's hard to pinpoint exactly which is the root--work or personal life?

Stress from work is normal and I think I can handle that more than the stress in my personal life (which includes family, love (or the lack of it), friends, etc.. etc..) With work, I deal with stress by laughing at things. If I make a mistake or if there's a student who gives me a headache with all his/her never ending questions, I just smile and explain again...and again...and again....

As for the personal life... everything is in shambles... I'm confused, I'm troubled, my mind is spinning in a vortex of worries, high hopes and shattered dreams... I need to try to make it stop. I find absolutely no laughter in my personal life. I need to find myself, but outside forces pull me back thinking that i'm more "sheltered" if they don't let go of me. I'm gonna go berserk! I want to saw off that short leash they tied around my life!

If I were a bird, my wings would either be clipped by now or stunted its growth to a full wing span.

So, I ask you again, how do you deal with stress?